i'm drifting away.
to some place where you can't reach me.
i want to find myself.
and to live my own life now.



a psychotic blog attracts psychotic people?

i realised one thing. if i was born a guy iwould have led a very different life, one not in ny, one not with my friends, one not with guides.

i'm grateful for being born who i am, for having friends like mine.

i'm tired.


i sometimes wonder what would happened if i replied you the way i want to now.

life is just too full of regrets.

there are days where i want to crash my head against a wall.

there are days where i want to scream and shout.

there are days when i just want to look into your eyes.

there are days when i just want to cry.

all i want to do is just to see you.

one day i'll break free from you.

one day i'll tell you the truth.

one day i'll live my life.

one day i'll be true.

one day i'll say i love you.

one day.






i promised never to do this. but it happened again.

i changed classes. and i'm starting to enjoy my life in vj. i think the teacher hated me. and changed my class.

still... i miss sa. that's surprising, due to my sentiments when i was there. maybe we could shift the people in sa to vj, leaving the teachers behind. hah.

i think taxi drivers love me. on a few occasions, they forgot to start the meter. it happened AGAIN. must be due to my lovable face. haha. and some of you are probably puking out there.

i need more sleep. i've been falling asleep on the bus and overshot a few times. and it only started only this year. damnit.

i need more stuff to rant about.

i went back to sa today, and i realised that sa has turned into my new hwachong.

i seriously don't know how to appreciate what's in front of me, only to have a multitude of regrets floating around me now.

fuck. i fucking hate being a second intaker.

this day certainly hasn't been one of my best days.

when i was on my way to school, my dad drove past sajc. and i felt this small longing in my heart. i didn't expect it... but i realised i actually missed my og and cg. A LOT. this was reiterated throughout the day at vjc. i missed the warmth of eveybody in sa.

the day spent as vj wasn't THAT bad i guess. at least ongying was with me the whole day. and our mouths never stopped talking. hah. she's one of the best people i can spend my day with. never have to think of what to say and what to do.. everything's just spontaneous.

then comes evening. anxiously waiting for a call. and none came. i never thought i be that disappointed if i didn't make it, but, truthfully, it hurts. my visions, my hopes were crushed with this non-existent phonecall. don't blame me if you see me walking around with a black face this few days. its kind of ridiculous, but i can nearly feel the tears at the back of my eyes.

fuck you and your empty promises.

quoted from peixuan: "wo3 bu4 chuan1 yi1 fu2 sui4 jiao4".

hah. what happened to her mouth??!!

ongying! now you will like vj. because SHUANGHONG is posted there. haha. oh man! we'll talk non-stop from morning til after school! haha.

and ana told me. my orientation photo is quite commonly used. hah. stupid school for using a crasher's photo.

woot. i finally ended my sa life officially yesterday. does it count as being official when i pon the last two days of school? lol.

went to play pool both yesterday and the day before yesterday(tuesday). damn funny. we(xinyun and me) beat the guys on the pool table on tuesday! hah. xuanfeng was feeding free balls and shooting the black balls in when he wasn't meant to. the expressions on their faces was hilarious. even xiuhui beat malcolm. and now i seriously think that sheena's my jinx. either that or beginner's luck. i got damn badly thrashed by minxin! stupid sheena. *nice alliteration*

slacking in hc now. stupid day to come. first hour of the morning has to be spent doing nothing. WOW. anyway, we celebrated shu's birthday in the morning. funny larh. there was a set-up of tealights in a heartshape around her present and her cake. but the fucking candles keep getting blown out. then wen called and said that she was arriving with shu in ONE minute time. and we were a kan-cheonging. should have taken a few pictures. then i could have been the first to update shu's birthday pictures! haha..

i'm seriously bored now.